Manners

Whenever I go out with the kids I am a sight to see. I am sure all the people that see me wonder if I have ever heard of birth control, or at least have heard of waiting more than 2 years to have another child. Because Doug travels so much, and because when he is in town he is usually not home until 8:00pm, I do our shopping with all the kids. Let's do the math on that:

3 kids + 5 years old and under = C.I.R.C.U.S

It's official. We are a traveling circus. Ethan frequently has HUGE meltdowns in the store; Olivia always decides that she has to go to the bathroom which is always on the opposite side of the store we happen to be in at the time; and as for Ben, well, as long as he has his binkie or a bottle he is pretty content. But there are times when we are just not meant to go shopping. Case in point....

Several years ago I was shopping at Target in Las Vegas. Ethan was 1 and Olivia was still 2. I was trying to shop for wedding gifts from a wedding registry list. Nightmare! By the time I found the right aisle Ethan was screaming. But I couldn't just give up and come back some other time. That only meant I would be taking a risk that this would happen again. I am no poker player, but I understand my odds with kids. As I stood there looking for some great gift, that was only going to be returned anyways, a man walked up to me and said, "You need to shut him up! I can hear him from across the store." I am not usually the type to engage in arguments. I avoid confrontation. Fight vs. flight? I choose flight. But not that day. I turned around, followed that man, (with one finger pointed, the other hand planted on my hip, and my voice seething) and exclaimed, "Excuse me? If you are so bothered, maybe you should be the one to leave. Last time I checked Target was a family store. Not that you would know anything about children, obviously."

He walked off, and I was left there. I was furious. No, that's not enough. I was livid. I was beyond words. That was the first time I felt like I could have walked up to a stranger and punched him in the face. But who would watch the kids if I was hauled off to jail for assault? And besides, what kind of example would I be to my kids? I was proud Olivia saw me stand up for myself and for my family. She still asks me why that man was so mean. I tell her, "Some people just don't get it."

What has happened to manners? To decency? To kindness? I can be carrying the car seat in one hand (which now weighs over 30 lbs with Ben in it), and dragging my two other kids in the other hand, trying to get a door open and people not only don't open the door for me, but they cut me off so they can get there faster. "Watch out. Here come the crazies. Better get in the store before they cough on me and I catch it." I mean, really? Really? You are really going to cut me off and not even get the door? And it is not just young, oblivious teenagers. It's people my age and older - men AND women.

So please, to the three people that read my blog, get the door for someone today. Be a little more observant and a little less rushed. Sometimes it is the littlest things that can make someone feel noticed, appreciated, validated, alive.