Potty Mouth

Ben has a problem. A really gross problem.

A couple weeks ago I went upstairs to grab some recipes, leaving Ben and Ethan downstairs in the toy room - or so I thought. I was upstairs for maybe 5 minutes. When I came back downstairs Ethan was sitting at the kitchen table coloring, and Ben was MIA. I kept calling his name, but still no Ben... until I heard the splashing. I raced down the hall to see Ben, with a huge grin on his face, coming out of the bathroom sucking on a toy that was dripping wet. Since he can't reach the sink, I knew there was only one place the waterlogged toy could come from. The toilet. My fears were confirmed when I saw water all over the floor and toilet seat. Ben just giggled. He had discovered the coolest thing ever. I dry heaved a little in my mouth. Fortunately, the water was clear. I think I would have died if the water was anything other than clear.

I took him upstairs, took off his soaking clothes and gave him a bath. As I reached across the counter to grab his towel, he swiped the bar of soap and started sucking on it. That's right, Ben. Wash that mouth out. (Wasn't it Freud that said oral fixations are tied to issues with the mother? What could I have possibly done in Ben's 13 months that could make him drink out of the toilet, suck on soap, eat spiders (live ones), or chew on wood chips? Just thinking about it all makes my stomach churn.)

Since that day, I have often found Ben playing in the toilet - sometimes with a toy, sometimes without. So far luck has been on my side and the water has been clear every time (knock on wood, throw salt over my shoulder, and every other superstitious way to unjinx myself). I'll just keep feeding him yogurt, and hope that Olivia remembers to close the lid and shut the door. But it is only a matter of time when that won't work anymore. Hopefully by then, he won't have a craving for toilet water - and not the good smelling eau de toilet kind.