Angels

I was recently reading a friend's blog and came across a link to another blog for a woman named Sheye Rosemeyer. Several years ago her three year old daughter, Ava, died after being trapped in a hot parked car for only a little while. Reading her blog haunted me. It reminded me of the day we almost lost Olivia.

It happened on a hot August day in Las Vegas. I am sure the temperature was over 110 degrees. It always is that time of year. We were busy inside packing and getting ready for our move to Reno. Olivia and Ethan often played together in the toy room, which is where we assumed she was that hot afternoon. But in the middle of packing boxes something (or someone) nudged me and told me to check in on Olivia. She wasn't in the toy room, and after a quick canvas of the house, I couldn't find her anywhere inside. Again I was nudged, this time to go outside. The back door was unlocked and the garage was open so we could take boxes out to the moving truck. She wasn't in the garage. Quickly my gaze moved outside to our parked car. There with the windows and the doors closed sat my little Olivia. I could just see her little blond head peaking over the steering wheel. I rushed to the car. Olivia was weak, but awake. She was burning hot. She had probably been in the car 10-15 minutes. I rushed her inside, gave her fluids, put a cold pack on her head, and sat thinking of what could have been.

I think we all have angels watching over us. There is a higher power that silently guides us, and sometimes nudges us, to action. I will forever be thankful that I was compelled to look for Olivia. I believe that Ava is in a better place. Even though her mother's anguish and sorrow cannot be measured and even though she is missed every minute of every day, now Ava is an angel among us.

Deep Thinker

I guess it's never too early to start contemplating the meaning of it all....

Grandma's Visit

Grandma came to visit for a few days. The kids loved the nonstop attention. Grandma was exhausted by the time she left. But I think she would be the first to admit it was completely worth it and she loved every minute!

Grandma's Visits - A Brief History

August 2005 (Couldn't find any from June)

May 2007

October 2009

Thanks for all the help and support, Mom!

Fall in Reno... and China

I love fall in Reno. After living in Las Vegas it is so nice to be somewhere with seasons - not just hot and sort of cold. There is something so American about the fall - pumpkin patches, tractor rides, and fresh apple pie. I can't help but getting nostalgic.

Of course there is Fall in other parts of the world. Beijing is beautiful in the fall, similar to Reno, but also very different. I remember walking across The Great Wall in autumn. It looked like the mountains were on fire with the trees in colors of red, yellow, orange, and rust.

The air there is crisp in autumn, just like it is in Reno. But in China the air is also filled with odors of fried scorpions, frog legs, and fermented tofu. In Reno, the fall is a perfect time for riding bikes. In China everyday is a good day for bikes, but usually not for leisure. People carry all their possessions on bikes - furniture, livestock, food. I will always fondly remember my time in China. But for now, I'm glad to be in Reno.

Forgetfulness

It's amazing how much you forget as a mom. I have heard it referred to as "Momnesia," a condition of forgetfulness usually striking moms with young children. It accounts for why you suddenly forget even the simplest things, like why you went to Target in the first place. Or how to phrase a simple sentence. Or forgetting your keys in the car and then locking your child in it.

I think nature helps us forget certain things, like how miserably awful the first four months of pregnancy are. And how tired you get the first months after the baby is born. I forgot what it was like to be really tired. Not just the everyday kind of tired, but the tired to the bone, can't help but stare off into space kind of tired. It is a good thing we forget certain things. But then nature also reminds us why we do it....

Seeing them together reminds me that it is all worth it. It's moments like these that make the tired moments, the moments of frustration, and the moments of defeat dissolve away. I would like to think that we have a happy home. But since Ben came there seems to be just a little more kindness and a little more patience...

I always knew Ben was waiting. After Ethan was born I had dreams about Ben. When I see the kids together I can't help but think they knew he was coming too. Long lost friends...

It's moments like these I certainly won't forget.